The day I stood up to sister Bisola all hell was let loose. It was literally Second World War again. She approached me with the wooden spoon in her hand while I rolled my eyes at her. She would not intimidate me on this matter again. What’s her own sef?
Ever since I entered the family house, I hated her guts. The hatred did not start then, it actually started from the first day I saw her talking and laughing with Bro Fred.
The manner she paraded herself as the mama of the house dishing out orders and commands to any who cared to listen. I was also the sister’s cord in my campus fellowship for two years and she doesn’t even come close to my charisma and level of spirituality.
Who the hell does she take herself for? My skin cringes and my heart feels a deep cut each time other naïve sisters rallied around her to address her as mama. Bisola was a thorn in my flesh.
I often heard other sister’s gossip about her amongst themselves but those cowards were not bold enough to walk up to her and confront her. Well, if they won’t; someone has to and I did
The opportunity presented itself the day she sent Ada on an errand. Ada just joined the house barely few weeks ago. She was instructed by Bisola to clean up the papa’s plate and to pick beans
Ada was the only sister who called me mama owing that she was my sister from campus. She had been under me and still showed me that level of respect and honor including submitting and serving my meal.
Bisola just stepped on a tiger trying to vomit fire for a long time and I was not going to let this matter slide like that.
“Eniola” she started in her usual annoying quiet voice which everyone seemed to adore
“Why are you doing this?”
“I hate your guts”. Even I didn’t know why I reacted that way towards her
It seemed like a well of fire and anger boiled within me, it was uncontrollable. At this point my pretence could not cut it anymore. From the time I entered the house or should I say way back in orientation camp, I had tried to warm my way into the heart of the past sister’s coordinator so I could be handed over as the next sister’s cord.
I always dreamed and imagined how it would be to be adored by all sisters living in the family house,I had seen the way they respected the past sister’s coordinator and judging from my portfolio and past leadership experience, I was sure to win the position at a heartbeat. Other brethren already started to address me as mama so I knew instantly that I stood a greater chance.
Until names were called out that day and she emerged as the sister’s coordinator while I was given no position.
Some of the brothers came in and tried to settle the quarrel but each of them got a taste of the devil’s venom. The president summoned us both in his office and that point my heart dropped a beat. My attitude was discovered truly afterall.
The moment we walked into the president’s office, my feet sank into the ground and my head felt light like a strong breeze just blew over me. Scales fell off my eyes and I began to wonder why I started that fight in the first place.
Brother Titus the president motioned us to sit in front of him while he continued with what he was doing. I peered at Bisola through the corner of my eyes and tried to analyze any word I could use against her. Just,I couldn’t possibly be the only viper in the room.
I rummaged my head further for any remark she made against me but found none. At that point I began to sink further into the ground. All that stared at my face was her calm and calculated character even when I vented my aggression. She had said nothing
The first question brother Titus asked us threw me off balance.
“Why did you choose to turn the house upside down?”
While I still contemplated and sought to gather my facts against her. Bisola went on her knees in tears. She was doing the exact thing I really hated about her. Yes, those tears and pretentious sober heart that made the rest look evil and unchristian.
“Papa I am sorry, it was entirely my fault actually. Sister Eni here actually sent Ada on an errand and I disrespected her, please forgive our behaviour”
I sat still and sank further into oblivion. The ground should have swallowed me. That sober heart used to be mine
“How dare she apologize on my behalf?”
“Why does she like to make me look evil in the sight of other people?”
“Is she the only one who has sober heart?”
I just couldn’t bring myself to accept what she had just done. But it was at that point that the lord began to flog my heart. It was a tug of war. I saw papa’s lips move but could hear no words he said. All that seemed so real to me was the internal heat I felt inside my body under the air conditioner and the tiny sweats that began to form on my forehead
Bisola held my hand and I was brought to my consciousness
“I am sorry for everything Eni” she said the second time, her face was more clear now. My hurt was revealed to me through her
“Bisola stop this pretence I shouted. “I loved Fredrick but you took him from me again just like Esther took my fiancée away two years ago” I didn’t even know when I blurted out
“Fred and I are engaged to be married in three months”
My sobs could be heard through the door but surprisingly I could not stop the tears neither could I control it
“Why don’t you allow me take care of you?” I could hear the Holy Spirit speak to my heart after a long while
Then I heard Bisola again “why don’t you allow God take care of you?”
“Who are you?” I looked at her like I met a ghost for the first time
“I am the person you hate so much”. She said the exact words the lord said to my heart. Immediately, I slipped my hand from her grasp and tried to run through the door but this force hit me back against the floor and I found myself on the floor again weeping for mercy
“Lord have mercy”
“Allow me heal you” Bisola knelt beside me. I could hear her praying for me. Lord heal Eni please”
“How dare she pray for me?”
“Why are you praying for me?”
My mind wandered through the past memories but this time the pains were no more there. I reached out for them till I heard the lord again or should I say Bisola
“Nobody will ever hurt you again”
You don’t have to fight to protect your respect again Eni, I am your greatest inheritance”
While I smiled in that little experience I could still hear Bisola smiling beside me and rubbing my palms. I felt peace in a while
The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.
Proverbs 17: 27
The truth remains dear one that the fight we engage in are not worth it neither do the ones who fight against us sometimes understand why they do so. We might go a long way to winning back lost lives and healing hurts in the heart of others by a show of kindness even in the face of provocation. This story actually reminds me of what happened back in school between I and a junior student. The manner with which I handled her aggression brought her back to ask for forgiveness.
We don’t need to reply every word thrown at us. There is a place for the Holy Spirit even when our patience is tested. The person who fights with you may just be fighting themselves and have no idea. They are hurt and simply looking for a channel of discharge.
Be like Bisola. Be the Jesus who speaks the words they need to be healed again. You never know what soul you might likely save when you remain quiet in the face of aggression whether as a leader or just every other Christian. It is never easy but worth it. I do understand that you could have voices questioning your “cowardice”
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest
Mathew 11: 28
To that Christian girl, who is hurt and constantly venting the aggression on others? The spirit of the lord asks you “for how long will you allow the hurt of yesterday to hunt you.”
“For how long do you want to keep going against others because of that heartbreak, disappointment or betrayal? Self defense never gets the matter done. Allow the lord heal you completely instead and find a place in your heart to forgive others in order to grow up to maturity
It is not others but you, you are the thorn in your own flesh. His grace is sufficient for you to walk away from that hurt into the promise of rest he has made provisions for.