Dear God girl,
I would like you to grab a cup of your favorite drink, let’s have a quick chat. I want you to read every single line and imagine having a conversation with God in the gardens of heaven. I’m sure a line in this blog post holds the answers you seek
You will have seasons where you go through a transformation; a mega one which could shake the walls of your belief, cripple your walls of defense and penetrate your gates of fury. All these sufferings and trial you currently face will start to make sense to you.
Right now, you could be going through a season where you can barely stand for yourself nor make decisions for yourself. It could also be a season of hurt and betrayals for you. Perhaps, a close friend or fiancé just betrayed your trust or broke up with you. It seems as if all hope is lost right? This is only a phase ad it fizzles away like midnight
I got chatting with an old friend of mine. He said this to me “Presh, you have really changed. I smiled and replied
“Well, I’m not the same person you used to know”
Each time I say this, Some People assume I am wearing a crown of over achievement and follow through with the “what do you mean by that?” question. When I say I’m no longer the same person I used to be, I only mean that I have learned to judge people less by their appearance and instead look into their content.
I have learned to forgive easily and move on from hurt, I have learned to love myself more and appreciate God for the things I do not have yet. I have grown and more matured not in age but in understanding and judgment.
There are times I stare at some of my old pictures and wonder if I’m the same person. Not just the change in facial looks or body change but total transformation from whom I used to be. Some of those pictures were taken when I was still in my raw, crude and unrefined form..lots of hurts and naivety
I remember taking a closer look at the picture and couldn’t help but burst into a thick envelope of laughter. It was the season I was battling asthma and was in and out of the hospital like no man’s business.
I laid down on the cushion while dad watched with glistening eyes nudging my mum to announce the news to me. I had never seen that much fear in his eyes before. Mum on her own part held my hands and rubbed my palms gently reassuring me of God’s love
There was yet another picture taken during a season I was struggling with lust and in my relationship with God yet had several persons depending on me and asking that I hold their hands in prayer.
The last picture in my gallery and carved in my mind reminds me of the evening the devil pulled me by the throat to deny my love for God.
Pictures are good memories like my beloved friend will say and sometimes they can form a good plethora for events to look back to, establish a track record and recognize that indeed the lord is indeed good.
The Change You Are Scared Of Making
Getting through these phases, waking every morning and imagining what the day will look like, fake smiles and all didn’t pass away just by staring into space. The transformation you are looking for is tied to that one breaking process you have refused to yield to. It is tied to this present struggle at home which you want to run away from.
It is tied to this particular mistake that you just made again and totally want to kill yourself over. It is tied to very ladder and boulder of restriction in your way to the Canaan land. It is tied to that gentle tap which wakes you at midnight to intercede and kick away prayerlessness after some time.
Your door of change will open when you finally start that business, get on that plane, write that book, start that blog, say no or yes to that young man, heal from that breakup and finally see the gentle young man whom God has for you by the side. Your train of change is tied to everything you are scared of doing.
How Much God Is Willing To Use a Hungry and Yielded Vessel?
The year 2014 through 2017 was such an awful season of my life. I had three major struggles: My spiritual life was at stake, my mental health was on the downside as I struggled with depression and anxiety disorders, I could only express on paper, my academics weren’t going so well and I thought I’d never graduate in 2018.
I recall those days, my roomie woke me up to pray or study and with heavy eyes, I’d just kick her hands away and adamantly cling to my pillow.
God girl, it’s so amazing what God can do with a little girl’s life and turn her into a woman so passionate and burdened that others come to watch the light which the lord has ignited in her. Now, when I see myself grind in prayers and carry others along with heavy burden, I laugh hysterically like a crazy girl because I indeed persevered, learned and yet learning
Overcoming the What-ifs Of Life
Starting my faith blog and an academy is one of the dreams I had in 2014 but I was scared and crippled by What-ifs
I know writing, teaching, and working in ministry is where God is leading me, but I don’t fully believe I can do this job. Every time I write, teach, or start to think about where I might be in 2 or 6 or 12 months, I doubt myself. Just stick with what I’m good at.
My first book is currently in the threshing house and even though I’ve graduated over 50 writers who have gone ahead to publish and sell their books. The fear of where God strikes my door like a wild lost thunder. God girl, you are not alone in this journey. The only edge I might have over you or anther God girl is that unflinching trust in God, if he says, he will then he will. Time is the only defining factor.
I’ll give you a list of the things limiting you from the pathway of greatness where God has called you to journey through. Can you take them off your list and set off on the journey of change?
- No one ever reads a single word I write?
- Someone tells me what I write is completely wrong?
- People use all my worst characteristics and the things I’ve done in the past to discredit me now?
- God asks me to tell you all the things I’d rather hide?
- I have to confront the ways I’m still failing?
- I let this become all about me instead of God?
- Someone tells me I’m not qualified to teach?
- People are disappointed because I don’t do all the things they expect?
- My friends just don’t understand?
I was scared to death of what may come from starting a blog or leading a little group of God girls. Look where we are. Yes, I have made mistakes in this journey but each time like the first time I stepped out of the webs and chains which held me bound, I see an outstretched arm of help and guidance come my way.
Let me share a scripture with you while we continue our chat
Back then, this scripture was one of my favorites. For some reasons, I felt a tug in my heart that if I stayed at the feet of the master long enough, he could make something out of my disheveled life. I took this word and repeated it to myself every day.
We all have mirrors in our houses to admire ourselves and take a good mental picture to sustain us through the day on how amazing the dress hugs our curves and accentuates everything. In like manner, the word of God is a transforming mirror, the more you look though it, the less of you is left and the more of the nature of Christ you take.
When you were born you looked like a member of your family but as you soar in God, you start to look more like him
Each time you think of your flaws, remember that I am that girl who almost smashed a bottle in her uncle’s head out of anger. I may not have gone through the dirtiest phases before coming to Christ.
Believe me when I say that I wished that the trials and mistakes which occurred in my life came before I got to know God for myself. But now, looking at these pictures laid before me, I can nod and testify that all things happens for a reason and a season
So, if you are that God girl going through some difficult times which you can’t seem to wiggle out of, the truth is that you can’t. However, someone inside of you can help you scale through. This is me cheering you on from tis side and making prayers of goodness for ypu
Can you pray or should we hold your hands?