I always stood by the door to welcome his arrival. That never-ending and deepening smile he wore each time melts my heart and sends butterflies to my stomach. The only man that ever made me feel like a real woman and wanted.
We had a special relationship which no one ever came close to. The waves of emotions that emanates from him each time goes to say indeed that perhaps God really planned us before the start of time. Henry, my spiritual tongue collaborating and formulation lover.
Beyond the spirituality, the first features I believe all sisters admired about him were his gorgeous handsome and dripping melanin skin coated in chocolate fountain. I could literally bask and breathe in his dark skin caressing his side jaws and hairy skin all day when we get married. Sometimes, I even forgot I was in church “oh! Father forgive me”.
The only issue is he will never pop the question. Do you want to know why? Well I told you we have a special connection. Okay, let me be more sincere here, he’s actually my crush but is there anything wrong with it?
Fiction for some but reality for most Christian girls in this state of dilemma:The one sided love or should I call it unrequited attention
Okay pause sis, yes you reading this, because you are the sole reason I am staying up this late punching my keys to communicate some sense to your head about this your Christian guy crush. You know the one you discuss with your sister in fellowship or your friends and you all joked and teased each other over it. I bet they still do till date while you cower inside and die silently
You actually promised to get rid of the feelings but right now you are finding it hard to do so. That’s because you can’t let go of that Christian guy crush of yours. What is his name again? Henry? Tope? Chinedu? You know better than I do. So, let’s talk about this Christian guy crush of yours shall we?
I just wish you could pause halfway reading this post to declare “Lord, give me sense Amen”. Don’t laugh yet because I’m in for some serious business but of course you can laugh. I mean, at the end of this post, you might cry and laugh again but only because you have found the solution you came for.
Other Christian girls who haven’t batted with crushes might read this post or hear you talk about your battles and flare up at the thought. A Christian girl, crush on a Christian guy? With that sanctimonious glare on their face as if they had seen the lord and are sure of their spot in heaven.
I know they must have said something like “you ought to be focused on the affairs of the kingdom rather than a Christian guy crush” Pay no heed to them, they say so because they haven’t been in your shoes before or are only pretending that the papa in fellowship whom they carry big coolers to are not their intending crush.
We all have emotional issues as ladies at one point until we get to a level of maturity in Christ and that’s only because we are wired differently from the men.
I found myself in this painful spot some time ago. I knew it was useless talking to a random Christian girl about it, I thought they would only see me as unserious and probably dismiss my salvation as 21st century watered down kind of salvation.
Regardless, I didn’t let devil play ludo on my destiny by entertaining the feelings. I spoke to a matured sister and she did help me talk to God about my bizarre feelings and unimaginable thoughts. You don’t have to feel shy or ashamed of your struggles. They are part of the struggles of the average Christian girl okay? Your weakness and mess is welcome here.
There are solutions already on how to deal with Christian guy crushes: one of which is talking to a matured sister about it. We haven’t reached the solutions yet. If you are in a hurry, you can simply skip to the solution part if not, read on, you will learn more from the questions other Christian girls are asking?
What is a crush?
Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if you have a crush on someone or not. Let’s put a meaning on this term to help you analyze your wiggly feeling better. Urban Dictionary defines a crush as “a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special.
Crushes make you feel crazy emotions–like feeling shy and uncontrollably giddy at the same time. You can’t always choose who you have a crush on, but you can choose how you react once you figure out that you have a crush on someone.
There are basically different types of crushes here. Our main concern anyway is how to deal with crushes on a Christian guy
Is having a crush on a Christian guy wrong?
Having crush on a Christian guy is not a sin if that’s what you meant but then not being a sin does ant make it healthy for you. Do you remember this bible passage?
You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything.
I Corinthians 6:12
It’s almost like raising a cub in your house only for it to grow and eat you to death. That’s basically how crushes can be. A story was told of a certain sister who gave a fake prophecy on the eve of her crush’s wedding simply because she couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he was marrying someone else. Likewise, Several tales of sisters who entertained crushes and only ended up with broken hearts.
Asides the emotional damages it causes to us as Christian girls, the worse harm is that it destroys your spiritual life hands down without stress. So is having a crush wrong? Yes it is and you should get rid of it
Can God take away my crush on a Christian Guy?
Having a crush especially as a sincere Christian girl can be quite disheartening. I said sincere here because we have different shades and stokes of Christian girls nowadays who just want to jump into the arms of any available brother who says come not minding if the lord says to go or to wait for further clarity, Hereby, brooding more community of women who end up crying that they are running an endurance race rather than enjoyment race as it ought to.
Having crush on a Christian guy is one of the frustrating phases of any Christian girl’s life. Do you know why? The lord will wake you up one morning to tell you point blank that the nice brother is never going to be your husband.
God may have already found Sister Elizabeth for Brother Henry or Brother Henry is not ready to be given out yet because he is still in the master’s blacklist, Funny right? But that’s the God I know and whom we all serve especially when you are sincere with him about your feelings.
Believe me I talk to God about my feelings and I have seen him come into the picture and settle everything. I have woken up to him cutting a brother from my life because he knows I’m starting to develop flashes of emotional attachments.
The answer is yes and again yes, God can take away your crush on a Christian guy if you ask him to do so. There are so many ways he does that but be rest assured that it will hit you.
You will cry because the brother never noticed your heart for him and it will be painful that the lord is pointing at it as though you have committed a grievous sin.But,You know what sis? You will be so glad at the tail end that he actually pushed away that brother from your life. He knows best after all.
Perhaps his son, your future husband is on the way buying roses and a diamond ring and he doesn’t want him to face any difficulties penetrating the four walls of your heart because of one brother out there.
How to deal with crushes on a Christian guy
You are finally here on the solution part and your question is “Precious, how do I handle crush on a Christian guy? “
It is inevitable for you to think about your crush. They could even be the first thoughts that grace your heart each time you awake and the last person you say goodnight to in your imaginations before you retire for the night.
Here are few helpful tips to help you get through this struggle:
- Identify the problem and why you are crushing on this brother: by this I mean what are the instigators to this thought and succeeding actions where they are almost permanently stapled to your heart. Do you work together? Are you in the same church unit? Do you send late nights with them? Is he the only one you always speak to?
- Speak to a matured Christian girl about it. As Christian girls, we are advised to have Christian women mentors that will hold our hands and help us in similar struggles especially urgent matters of the heart. I said matured Christian women because speaking to your cool girlfriend may not bring the solution especially when their spiritual life is on a hanky-panky scale.
- Stay away from the Christian guy crush. I don’t mean you running away from him but if that helps please do flee from him to speed up your healing. They may ask you questions related to your sudden change of attitude.
Just know you are doing this for yourself. In a more mature way you can just stylishly avoid spending much time with them than others or speaking to them privately. Don’t entertain that devil
- Stop standing alone with them. You now those shady acts of waiting till everyone is gone before you speak to him about your day? you need to stop if you are serious about getting help okay. Talk with him when others are present
- Open up to him. I remember having feelings for a brother back then. Well,I had to open up to him. I did that because I got the guts and confidence and since I’m more of a logical person who likes to sort out my feelings having received help from God overtime.
I called him and told him we won’t be spending much time alone or chatting late into the night because of my feelings for him. We both knew he was not the one neither was I the one for him. Don’t do it if you can’t but find a way to address the matter
- Pray about it. Speak to God about how you feel. I’m serious about this very step. Praying and talking to God about my feelings has helped me in unimaginable ways. Even way more than talking to a sister has helped me
- Find another Christian girlfriend to tell everything. Yes, replace that urge to speak to a Christian brother you are crushing on with a good Christian girlfriend. If you haven’t got a Christian girlfriend then you need to read this post. I can’t overemphasize how much I have benefited from having a Christian girlfriend
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Those are few tips to help you grow from crushing to a stable life in this single season. Filled with so much emotional struggles and fights. What other tips do you think I didn’t add that has helped you?
Please let me know in the comment section. Please share this post to reach as many friends as possible. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss out on any new updates
Don’t worry, pursue purpose first, God is preparing your husband in the inner chamber. You will be so glad you waited.
Thankfully,you don’t have garbage and baggage he has to get rid of neither walls to be surmounted. It’s going to be a hitch free relationship to marriage. Toast to your crushless single season. See you on the other side of victory
Precious Ngozika Oli is the Lead Minister of Frontline Christian Ministries, Co-owner of FULL OF GRACE Publisher, the editor-in-chief of Heels Magazine. She is a faith and lifestyle blogger, a Web designer, a Blogging/ book publishing coach and an entrepreneur. As a teacher of the word of God; she seeks to help Christians grow in their walk with God, identify their purpose and attain a stature of maturity in the image of Christ On the flip side, she teaches writers and entrepreneurs how to start a blog, write and publish their book, how to design simple WordPress websites and build side incomes.
If you wish to get in touch, email me to [email protected]